I haven’t posted here for a bit. I’ve been working on two paintings at once and haven’t finished either yet. I do have other paintings to share that I have finished but right now I am focused on other things, like trying to figure out my life.

When my life becomes frustrating, it leads to my not having the energy or desire to paint. I have to be in the mood. I am also frustrated with the subject matters of my unfinished paintings – the color isn’t right or what I am painting hasn’t turned out the way I want it to, yet.

Both paintings are almost done. I know that once I sit down at my easel and start, I will figure it out. However….

I am teaching part-time. It is somewhat rewarding as I teach English as a Second Language. I like my students. I admire their coming to this country and learning a new language. But since it is part-time work, I am not making enough money which is important when having bills to pay.

I am highly educated and have experience in marketing. There is another however, here. I am experienced, and ageism is very real! Again, I need a job for the income.

I’m also a good writer; it is one of my strongest skills. I recently won a NE regional writing award and am being considered for a national award. How do I parlay that into a job? Yes, it’s on my resume.

So, if my life’s purpose is something different than teaching, or writing, or marketing, what is it then? Am I supposed to paint? How do I make art prints to sell? What do I do?

My frustrations that I am experiencing with the job search is permeating my life. Right now, I do not have much desire to paint, especially when I am also frustrated with the two paintings I am working on.

How do I overcome this block in my life? I’m sure in time I will get over this hurdle. I have gotten over others. When you are in the middle of it, though, it is difficult.

I count my blessings. I have enough food to eat and a house to live in. Summer is here and I get to enjoy it. And, as I am writing this, my husband kissed me on the top of my head and said, “I just wanted to tell you how much I love you.”