I wanted to do a painting for a friend of mine who lives near the mountains. When I started it, I didn’t think it would be as difficult as it had become.

I started with the sky, then the general background of the valley. Once that was completed, I did a general outline of the mountains. Once I completed the background it was time to fill in the blanks and enhance the painting.

I needed a “blue hue” in the background of the valley in order to show depth. That took quite a few tries. I redid the red tree and concentrated on their reflection in the stream.

When I was pretty much satisfied with that, it was time to really tackle the mountains. That proved the most challenging. I painted them but was never satisfied with them. I asked for advice from my art teacher. I tried his suggestions. I couldn’t quite get a handle on it. So, I stopped. For about six months. Tried again. Still didn’t like it. Stopped again.

Finally, about six months later, about a year after starting the painting, I restarted. I watched videos of various other artists to see how they tackle this type of subject. I tried again two more times until I was finally satisfied. I then finished the painting, adding some more details, and sent it off to my friend. She was happy with it and so was I.

I enjoy challenging myself but sometimes get so frustrated I need to take a break. If it’s a detailed image I haven’t painted before, I freeze.

For some reason, I still have the fear I cannot do something. I’ve experienced that with quite a few paintings, but once finished, they turn out all right. I’m experiencing it again with a painting I’m currently working on. I just have to make myself sit and do it. Once I get something on the canvas, I can always change it.

Have you ever experienced fear when trying something new or talk yourself out of it before you even try? Sometimes fear is telling you something. Fear can bring an awareness of danger, which is for our own protection.

But if it’s something not inherently dangerous, it’s good to get beyond our fear. Ultimately, we fear failure or not doing it “right.” Sometimes we compare ourselves to someone else who has already been successful at what we want to try. I still experience that sometimes.

When I started in an oil painting class, I never painted using this medium before. So, I stared at an empty canvas. Luckily, I had a great teacher who got me started. I moved on from there. I also told myself that if I didn’t like oil painting, I could stop. I allowed myself that option. But I tried it, liked it, and am still painting.

The fear, though, still stops me, at least for the moment. It’s OK to take a break. I will move through it eventually.

I’ve experienced fear, especially early in my adulthood. Eventually, with help, I moved beyond that fear by taking baby steps. Just take a few. If you need help, get it. Just take a few….

Copyright © Kathy Fountaine (image and text)